Networking: the battle between what was once office politics in the new age of remote collaboration

It’s 1986 and I have just embarked onto a path that led me to the US Navy. Arguably my first professional job at the crisp and clueless age of 19 opened my eyes to doing everything in full view of people I didn’t know and knew nothing about. It was there that I quickly learned about making introductions, forming bonds based on the things we had in common, and sticking to those bonds to share empathy - and a few push-ups along the way. Having the ability to look back to that time today, I realize that I have always possessed the skill to walk up to folks I had never met and strike up a conversation.

Fast forward to 1998 and I find myself as a clueless thirty-something working at a bank and needing to think through office politics and the importance of building a network. Like many others, I simply parroted the others around me, which sometimes was to my benefit and sometimes not. There was still a lot of Navy that I needed to brush off, and I learned through mentors how to act around other adults and to keep my head down and get the work done when needed.

I served as the FX Investigations and Client Service manager at BBH&Co. When the day that I got my business cards came, I conceptually understood what they represented, but not much else. I was taught what side of my suit jacket to wear a name tag on and why, and how to properly introduce myself to others.

Nice versus Kind; discovering the importance of emotional IQ and being of service to others.

It’s funny to think back to the days when I would travel from NYC to Boston to meet with folks from Putnam, Scudder and Fidelity. The formality of it all, the never-ending exchanging of business cards and handshakes. To this day I have kept every single business card that was or is presented today. The process of adding them to my old Rolodex or to an Excel spreadsheet allowed me to understand the power and importance of relationship building, the exchanging of ideas, and learning who the gatekeepers were and those that would be mentors.

In time, I learned the key to all of this, to the differences between nice and kind, to gauge relationships and even see them mature into friendships. I thought that being nice, polite, and engaging was the way to forge lasting relationships within my network, until I learned from a mentor about being kind, doing for others, and leading with emotional IQ as a practice and a way of living authentically.

I have always been an emotional person, felt for others, had an ability to show and share empathy. Once I learned to properly utilize these skills for the betterment of others, my network grew, and those that came to rely upon me as a trusted servant grew. Being asked to mentor, guide, and help others replaced being known as a nice guy that would always show up. I enjoy being of service to others, working on common goals within organizations on a volunteer basis and when asked to step up, I always start with yes, how can I be of service.

Office environment versus remote work; networking in a virtual environment

As we move forward into remote, hybrid or in-person only careers, networking has become more important, and I believe required as we collectively stumble into the new reality of fully-remote companies. Where we are today versus where I was in 1998 seems otherworldly and almost impossible, yet here we are. I have been fortunate to have others mentor me and push me to do things I hadn’t before, challenging me to step up and out of my comfort zone. Admittedly, I was not the easiest person to mentor and at times I shut down and allowed self-doubt to take over.

Only a few years ago, I was at SVB on a contract traveling between Arcadia and Santa Clara on fun-filled 5-hour drives, staying with a mentor and lucky enough to have him provide a space to sleep and commuting to work together. In the 6-ish months that I traveled back and forth, I never forgot that the reason I was able to get the contract, to have a place to stay, to grow, was because I was kind to my mentor, and we had become friends. COVID changed everything for many of us, for better or worse.

I had come home and luckily had been allowed to work from home for the next two weeks. Remote working has become my new default since 2020, challenging me to keep my network growing and contacting my coworkers but without the luxury of the breakroom, café, or the outdoor ping-pong table for some grueling and semi-serious (I am always serio!) play time.

So, what did I and others do? We went through many virtual events on Zoom, occasionally meeting outside appropriately distanced. To my surprise, I found others in the finance and payments space that also rode motorcycles and would have a ride and stop off at a taco truck to top off the freedom of fresh air and wind therapy.

Today we have seen a return to a “new normal.” Events are back in person, some are hybrid and once again we can reconnect, share in person what we have been doing over Zoom calls and grab that cup of coffee and share in person our collective kindness. Much has changed in the last few years, but there is one constant: networking is connecting with others, sharing our authentic selves, and making each other better while holding each other responsible for being the change we want.